You better roll out the red carpet because here comes Mz. Worthy. When it came to dropping the Here I Come EP, her first since coming out as trans, Mz. Worthy knew she had found a home with London label, HE.SHE.THEY.
Mz Worthy began writing her new EP from before she realised she was trans and this new work covers all her emotions and experiences throughout her journey to date. The EP brings big beats while still hitting your emotional core dealing with issues of identity, uncertainty of the future and of course freedom with the title track.
Mz. Worthy tells Loverboy about writing the new EP, her own personal day of independence and channelling her inner diva.
The ‘Here I Come’ EP, feels like it really covers your first realization of being transgender. A song like ‘Can You Tell Me’ was written before you identified as trans. How does it feel to listen to this song now and your music prior to this point in retrospect?
It is a bit weird now to look back on everything previous to me discovering I was transgender, and listening to my voice as I have been transitioning. That old voice on ‘Can You Tell Me’ feels so distant, and it is a different person to me. It is almost the same feeling as when I take a look at an old picture of myself.
I do love the song and how it turned out. I love how much emotion there is in it, and it can bring me back to that moment in my life just before discovering my authentic self.
The lyrics like, ‘With so much risk, how far do we go?’ are so clear to listen to now. Had friends/family begun to tap into the idea that something was changing for you after listening to this? Was it scary to allude to some kind of change like this in your music before announcing it publicly?
I wrote ‘Can You Tell Me’ just before my revelation about being trans. At that moment, I was working through so much internally. I was recently divorced but was back living with my ex and daughter in quarantine. I was trying to come to terms and understand why I had to dress up in private, in addition to the uncertainty of the pandemic.
A lot was coming up inside me when I wrote the lyrics, and it was all intertwined. When I was writing those lyrics, I thought I was talking about the possibility of my ex and I getting back together. Thinking this might not be a good idea. Rereading those lyrics now, I think I also was talking about my trans side. When I was in therapy, my therapist asked me right around this time why I was so scared of buying a prosthetic piece that would make me look more female. And my reply was, “I don’t know how far this goes.” Looking at those lyrics seems to take on a whole different meaning.
There are also lyrics like ‘You just shut it down…’ Reading your bio it sounds like for a long time you felt different, but between realizing you were transgender and acting on it, the period sounds relatively short. Although when we are not presenting our true selves, time feels like eternity. How long was that period for you? And what pulled you through?
Yes, it was a short time from realizing I was probably transgender to making the leap into transitioning. The realization came on July 4th 2020, and it was about a month and a half later that I decided to take this leap and start HRT. It was, in a way, a leap of faith since so much of my past had been repressed. After spending a month or so journaling and breaking down my personal history, it all pointed to me being transgender. I said to myself well, we can either sit in therapy for years coming to terms, or we can jump in and work through it as we go. I told myself we could stop if it did not feel right and that major changes take a long time to happen. I knew deep down I was transgender and that I was making the right choice.
I imagine that going through such a major realization and starting such a major journey, your road forward presents more possibilities and uncertainties than before – and all the better for that! How do you see this all being reflected in your music moving forward? I imagine this is probably also a super-creative time for you – have you started making new music already?
I am still honestly finding myself and working through a lot of fears and internalized transphobia. That stuff can get in the way of my creative side as it can be all consuming. I have been going back and forth with my creativity and songwriting. I have some bursts of creativity and then other times where I can’t seem to find the head space to write because of all that is going on inside of me. I think in time, as things settle down and I don’t have to struggle as much internally. The music will start flowing out of me even more, and I will find myself musically. It is such a journey.
L.A.C.’s vocals are perfect for ‘Here I Come’. When writing the track, was there someone you were channelling? Joan Collins or some other diva? Or was it really yourself right from the beginning?
I knew that I wanted to channel my inner diva on this track as it was coming together. I had never done a track with diva vocal, and I decided it was the time to do that. It was kind of me owning that badass feminine energy that I had always been so scared to tap into internally. It felt like I was saying to the world, here I am – Mz Worthy – and you are never getting rid of me.
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