Yesterday, 17^th May, was International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia. To mark it the BFI, London screened the 2014 documentary Matt Shepard Is A Friend Of Mine. Loverboy’s Fallon Gold went along and explains why it is so vitally important that this life-affecting film be shown.

In 1998 Matt Shepard was taken by two men out to a desolate prairie in Laramie, Wyoming, tied to a fence and savagely pistol whipped. He lay in a coma for days and eventually died of his injuries. His death was the result of a robbery. But Matt Shepard was gay and his murderers bragged about ‘killing a fag’. Matthew Shepard’s murder became a political spark between LGBT advocates wanting his killers sentenced for a hate crime and homophobes saying his death was an act of god. His mother, Judy, would go on to form The Matthew Shepard Foundation and campaign for hate crime legislation.

You may remember Matt’s murder in the news as it was a huge, worldwide story. You may know about it as a historical case that eventually led to hate crime legislation being brought into law by Obama in 2009. But the documentary Matt Shepard Is A Friend Of Mine by Michele Josue is about more than telling the story of his brutal murder and the resultant political changes. Josue, who went to school with Matt, wants to show who Matt actually was to his friends and family and those whose lives he touched. It is also a film about dealing with grief and the horror of losing someone you love in such an unfathomably horrific way.

Words cannot adequately do justice to the experience of watching Matt Shepherd Is A Friend Of Mine. There is obviously much anger, outrage, horror, and sorrow when hearing his story. And it is one that has to be told. But this film belongs not only to Matt but to those who loved him. We are often told that someone who died touched the lives of others. They are eulogized in the purest way. But you believe what we are told about Matt. His letters and journals reveal a sensitive, honest, complex person who was very self-aware and reflexive. The tears and smiles of his friends who read them for us are genuine and raw.

We can take from this documentary many things. That his case was a landmark. That his mother is an incredible person, seemingly fragile but taking on the world to do the work that Matt would have loved to have done himself. That we still need to do this work because people are still dying. I once had a conversation with a rather renowned older queer icon who was trying to tell me that things were different in her day, ‘people DIED’ she said. I responded incredulously (because surely she knew this herself) that people still die. Yes, we have come a very long way but queer people still kill themselves or are killed by others every day around the world. As the BFI’s Emma Smart said in her introduction to the documentary, this isn’t something that happened in a country where it is still illegal to be gay. This happened in America. And in those countries where it is illegal this happens. And in those where it’s not illegal and we have supposed ‘rights’ it happens.

It is a tragedy that Matt Shepherd was murdered in this way. It is a tragedy that it still occurs. But we have come a long way since his death. Our voices are stronger, louder, we cannot be silenced so easily, and Matt’s death did that. The story of his murder tells us this but it also tells us that the work is continuing, and we must always remember those who we have lost.

This film is necessary for reasons other than remembering Matt Shepherd and telling his story. It is a profound exploration of grief, anger, healing, closure. In fact, the most stunning and moving thing I took from the film is that ‘healing’ and ‘closure’ are what we are told we must have in dealing with grief and trauma. It’s what we think that we need. Michele Josue discovers that it’s not necessarily what happens or what we need. We need to feel the pain and the anger. We need to remember. We may never ‘get over’ the horrors in our lives. But that’s ok. It’s not about getting over, it’s about remembering and talking to each other. It’s about acknowledging and sharing. It’s about love and righteous outrage. That is Matt’s legacy and the legacy of all those we have lost to homophobia, transphobia and biphobia. And we must never forget our people.

Matt Shepard Is A Friend Of Mine is available on DVD