"Forget the rainbow? I’ve got rainbows coming out of my ass!"
Today – if she had lived – Judy Garland would have been 94. It’s hard to imagine her surviving this long. But heck – her daughter Liza is 70. Who’d have thought that would happen? (Though obvs thank the goddess she is still here!) Still, cuz she started in show business when she was 3, Judy packed a lot into her short life. Loverboy’s Fallon Gold – perhaps the biggest Garland fan in the whole wide world – shares some of our fave things about Judes.
1. She was hilarious. She loved a joke, had the greatest laugh and could spin a yarn. Talk show hosts adored her because she always gave good guest star. From her somewhat exaggerated stories about munchkin shenanigans on the set of Wizard of Oz to her bitchy anecdotes about other stars, she was TV gold. Our favourite is her Marlene story. Her impression is priceless.
2. She is one of the biggest gay/queer/camp icons of all time. I won’t get into here my own personal bugbear about it always being said she is a huge diva icon to gay men (us gals and genderqueers love her too, you know), or the bizarre, homophobic hysteria this fact provokes from Judy fans who want to see her as only pure and good and untainted by our gay filth (honestly, it’s a thing). We all know gays love them some Judy and always have. She means so much to us and she is ours. And yours too straights ffs. But she’s more ours. Get over it. Some examples of why we gaylove her:
* She once said ‘when I die I have visions of fags singing Over The Rainbow and the flag at Fire Island being flown at half mast.’ See, she knew she had an enormous queer fanbase and could take the piss out of it
* A woman once cried out from the audience, ‘Never forget the rainbow, Judy!’ Judes replied: ‘forget the rainbow? I’ve got rainbows coming out of my ass’
* Stonewall: it’s said that her death (and funeral) was a spark for the Stonewall riots. It may be an exaggeration but one thing is for sure, ‘Judy Garland’ was the most common fake name used by patrons of the Stonewall Inn when signing in to the member’s only bar
* Judy was queer and shagged women. Once when asked if the rumour of her being in a relationship with a woman was true she replied, ‘when you’ve eaten everything there is on the table you want to try something different from the menu’. BOOM
* She made Liza Minnelli.
* She knew she was camp and she did this, the campest thing ever:
3. My late friend Shaun Considine (author of Bette & Joan: The Divine Feud) once told me a brilliant Judy story. He knew her when she was homeless, shacking up with anyone who would take her in. A gay couple he knew once put her up on their couch. Well, she pretty much passed out there. When she woke up she spotted a huge poster of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford’s opus Whatever Happened To Baby Jane and screamed at the top of her lungs.
4. Also from Shaun: she told him that she wanted to make a musical version of Whatever Happened To Baby Jane. Can you imagine? Gagging!
5. She was half of the best thing to even happen on TV.
Happy Birthday Judy, we love you more than we can ever say