"The D you’re so desperate for, is too small. It's time to upgrade your boo."
We asked for your dilemmas. You sent them in. Lady Lloyd listened and offered her unqiue take on the situation with some great advice. Kind of.
Dear Lady Lloyd,
OMG I need help baaaaad. I live for dick. I am the definition of a power bottom. I can take it for dayz. But recently every time I get fucked I get gassy. Like I just can’t stop farting. It’s gross. What do i do?
Jake, Manchester
Well Jake, I need some more information for a proper diagnosis. There is one of two things happening here. Either, your arse is so slack that air is escaping, in which case some sphincter exercises are in order…or the D you’re so desperate for is too small, in which is case its time to upgrade your boo.
Dear Lady Lloyd,
I’ve been seeing someone for a while and recently we made it official, so I deleted all my hook up apps. But friends keep sending me pics of me someone totally catfishing me. Like they’ve set up profile with my stats and they’re totally flirting with guys under my name. I feel a bit weird about it but it also makes me wonder what I’m missing out on.
Aaron, New York
If you have fear of missing out, then you are clearly not ready to be in a monogamous relationship..and who can blame you, with such easy access to stunning cock. This will only end in disaster, stop pretending to be a good little housewife and go forth and multiply.
Dear Lady Lloyd,
I only recently came out and tbh I am wondering where the peen has been all my life. Gurl I am making up for lost time. But I always worry that as a relative newbie when I go home with someone, I might do it wrong. Like my skillz won’t be enough. Advice please!
Sam, SF
PS You got any tips to recommend?! 😉
Douche, Douche and Douche some more. Honestly. Get out all the gunk. Young folk do seem to be scared of anal a bit I find…but really once it’s inside it feels so good you can’t do it wrong. So have no fear. (Crap blow jobs on the other hand, can ruin relations, so suck hard on that for your life)
Dear Lady Lloyd
My bf and I have recently started doing live shows online and getting good money from it too! It’s really added to our relationship – in more ways than one! But recently I’ve been going online and seeing that he’s been doing shows without me. I feel like he’s cheating on me. What should I do?
Keith, New Orleans
You should ignore your feelings and set up an Amazon Wishlist, with only the things you want on it. If he wants to play without you, then he is to direct the punters to your Wishlist, and your Wishlist only. I hope his dick is decent enough you get the stuff costing big bucks. $$
