"I'd love to show people, that I am human, regardless of how the government & Christian Church frame my identity."
2018 is proving to be quite the surprise for Gay Rights. Just last month, India announced that it was further casting off the last remaining shackles of colonialism by no longer banning gay sex. Then just yesterday, it was revealed that the White House had joined Saudi Arabia and Iraq in the heinous decision of voting against the UN’s move to condemn the gay sex death penalty.
One person walking his own path, irrespective of the rest of the world, is Ali Mushtaq. Born to Long Beach-based, Pakistani-born parents, Ali’s been busy completing his PhD in Sociology whilst also indulging in his fetish for Leather, entering pageants & winning Mr Long Beach Leather 2016.
Ali was shot by Roman Udalov, along with an array of plants, for Loverboy before discussing his achievements to date and goals for the future.
In the past, you’ve described yourself as ‘very very gay’. What does the word ‘gay’ mean to you?
For me, ‘gay’ means that I am exclusively, romantically and sexually, attracted to men. Aside from developing an expanded sexual repertoire within BDSM/fetish, etc, how I identified has never really changed.
When was the first time you realised you were into leather?
I’ve always felt the leather look was hot but I didn’t really start to sexualize it until I was around it. I started to realize I was attracted to the smell of leather, and later, the taste, as I started to fetishize the power dynamics.
Can you remember the first time you entered a leather competition? What was the reaction from the audience like?
Oh yes, back in 2013. It was weird because I remember being asked questions, whether intentionally or not, that seemed unfair, such as ‘Does your race affect how you deal with the leather world?’ At that point, I didn’t know how the judges were going to react if I was honest with my answer. They could easily have viewed me as an agitator if they didn’t actually see racism as a problem within the leather world. So I feel like the work now as a title-holder seeks to remove that kind of pressure on future contestants and to create awareness about these issues.
Has it been easy to balance your involvement with the Leather scene and the Muslim community?
Actually, I feel like I’ve been able to connect with people that are LGBTQ Muslim allies or LGBT Muslims themselves. So largely, the response has been generally positive. However, I do know when I did a couple of documentaries on being gay and muslim, there was a lot of negativity. And so I feel like it would be harder, especially if I had grown up in Pakistan, to do the work I do, because there are those that don’t accept being gay and being Muslim.
Are there now branches of Islam that are accepting of homosexuality?
I think slowly, Muslims are becoming more accepting of homosexuality. There are organizations, such as Muslims for Progressive Values, that are inclusive and are providing spaces for queer Muslims. There are people that identify as being a queer Muslim and do drag. Granted I’m not a scholar of Queer Muslim Studies or Islam Studies in general, but I do know some have made the argument that there have been Queer identities within Islam.
But I think the takeaway is that while there is variation in our identities, it’s important to be visible and to start these conversations within more mainstream Islamic communities.
I know raising money has been super important to you. Can you tell me about why you chose the charities you did and how you went about raising money?
Initially, I worked with organizations that donated money to HIV/AIDS charities specifically for racial minorities because, currently, the HIV/AIDS epidemic disproportionately affects people of color and trans people of color. So I did things like go-go danced when I did time in ONYX. As a title-holder, I had my own events. I worked with the Imperial Court in Long Beach, who helped me raise money for AIDS Lifecycle (a popular charity in Southern California) and it was attended by the Mayor of Long Beach, which was a great honor.
It feels like the gay community is becoming more fractured, with the bear community becoming more ‘fashionable’ and ‘a symbol of masculinity’ of late. Do you see the LGBT scene as a community?
I think people are starting to accept themselves more which is good, and with this acceptance, I think people are starting to better articulate who they are, even if it is outside of mainstream labels, like being LGBTQ. So it is good that people are more willing to identify as being asexual, aromantic, gender nonconforming, etc because the language is becoming more accessible. I don’t see this as divisive. I think that while we all need our specific communities to develop and experience who we are, it also good to find platforms, like Pride, where we can all celebrate our differences.
I think while bear communities are becoming more “fashionable” or at least visible, I feel like there’s a lot of work to be done to eliminate body shaming.
What do you make of the pressure within the gay community to have the perfect body? Have you been tempted by steroids?
I know there’s a tremendous amount of pressure, and I go to the gym religiously, but I do know that all I can do is be me. I feel like steroids is a huge investment and it was one I didn’t want to make because I feel like I would get addicted to how people would over-validate my body and it would naturalize unhealthy decisions. So for me, while I have considered it, it was a road I thought I should avoid.
The leather and bear worlds are strange because they’re supposed to be worlds where we should accept ourselves. But I feel like there’s still some pressure to achieve a certain look. It’s even harder if you’re a racial minority because regardless of your body type, you’re going to be ignored and fetishized. It’s almost like we are put in a position where, if we as people of color don’t have perfect bodies, people are going to overlook us even more than they already do. So, a white man ‘of size’ might feel like he’s discriminated against in more mainstream communities, but he can still be attractive as a bear. However, if he’s Asian or Black in the bear or leather world, there’s a higher chance of both being overlooked because of size but also racial discrimination. So unfortunately being of color makes it harder to physically accept the way we look and a lot of us do go down that road (of plastic surgery and steroids) because we just want to be treated equally and considered attractive.
I know you’ve said in the past that you want to go on Ellen and Oprah and that everyone’s sexual interests should be mainstream. Some people will say, ‘Sure. I understand LGBT needing to be mainstream, but why do people’s fetishes and kinks need to be mainstream too? In doing that, aren’t you exposing something that is fun partly because it is on the fringe of society?’ How do you feel about that?
I think more mainstream audiences need to hear the message of self-acceptance and that it’s ok to live in a diverse world. Especially now, where we’re asking ourselves the question, ‘Who is American?’ and ‘Who is a citizen?’ This topic is especially relevant because people like me want to declare ourselves as part of the American tapestry, but others don’t see us that way because of my skin color and sexual orientation/proclivities. So I’d love to bring that to a broader conversation and to show people, that I am human, regardless of how the government & Christian Church frame my identity.
Where are you now with your PhD? Did your thesis pertain to the leather community?
Yes, I am now Dr. Ali Mushtaq. I’m a fully-fledged sociologist and my dissertation was on body building, masculinity, and social inequality. It didn’t really focus on leather because it would be difficult securing permissions for my ideal project.
There was talk of you being in a reality show…
Interesting you mention that. Now that my formal schooling is over, I am in talks right now about a potential media project on a couple of fronts, and yes, I am open to more avenues.
Lastly we are named after Mariah’s song Loverboy. What is your favourite Mariah song?
I love ‘Hero’, it makes me cry every time I hear it. It took years to develop enough self-confidence and self-love to be my own role model, but it took even more time to realize that I wasn’t alone in my experience and that hopefully, others can benefit from hearing my story to find their strength.
You can follow Ali Mushtaq on Instagram & see more of Roman’s work here.