Lock up your sons…and daughters – here’s Baby Lame! She’s here for her brand new show, Don’t Call It A Comeback, at London’s Royal Vauxhall Tavern as part of Hot August Fringe on 4th & 7th August. Let’s find out more…

What is Baby Lame’s talent?
My Mommie Moan Crawful says I am the definition of ‘triple threat’ – dance, act and sing blah blah…But I guess my real talent is getting into the heads of audiences. Many people say the image of me haunts them… which is a sweet thing to say.

I hear you’ve been compared to Mariah Carey. How so?
Well, aside from my personal battles with the chub, there are a huge number of similarities between us. Firstly like Mariah, God has granted me the gift of a 5 octave vocal range. In 2008 I actually used this gift to the best of my advantage by releasing a collection of Christmas songs aimed specifically at dogs, A Woof in A Manger, which was a huge hit in Lithuania.
Like Mariah – I can drop it and pop it harder than any other bitch in the game – I often think Mariah’s voice overshadows her natural dancing ability. Oh and finally, I’ve been dicked by Nick Cannon.

Who is Baby Lame’s arch nemesis?
Well, to call her an ‘arch nemesis’ would imply that I feel threatened by her, and trust me that is not the case. I’m just going to put it out there – BEYONCE IS A BASIC BITCH. Basic wigs, basic marriage, just basic. I was originally the lead singer of ‘Girls Tyme’ with Kelandria, LeToya, LaTavia, some other hos and that bitch. Let’s just say I find it ironic she has songs entitled ‘Blow’ and ‘Daddy’… Matthew Knowles wasn’t a fan of me – so I was kicked out before they hit the big time. All i’m saying is put us both on a stage together, and see who wins then.

Where’s next for Baby Lame?
Shitloads more events! More festival dates for ‘Don’t Call it a Comeback’, Baby Lame’s Lindsay Lohan Meltdown party in September, a cartoon and new Baby Lame Video nasty’s night! in Autumn. Baby is hoping to spread her brand of punk-horror-drag across the UK, and then fingers crossed, hopefully conquer oversees markets like Russia and Nigeria.

Where would you most like to perform?
My ultimate dream would be to take my show to the Vatican.

How’s Grindr working for you?
Not great to be honest – but i’m trying this new thing out where I send guys my address, turn the lights out and leave my front door open…so hopefully romance will be on the cards!

Have you ever had a relationship?
My Mommie Moan Crawful doesn’t like me to have boyfriends, as she thinks it’s distracting to my career – so we share fuck buddies.

What are you most excited about at the RVT?
It’s a spectacular space and The Hot August Fringe lineup is crazy – I don’t like performing in arenas as you can’t really connect with your audiences. At the RVT you can taste and smell a performance…and trust me it tastes so fucking good here, baby!